


What's Going On?

by HeroCrafter



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: (this comes up in the second chapter i promise), Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Frosta Needs a Hug, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Trans Female Character, Trans Frosta, Trans Perfuma (She-Ra), Yes this is the hill I will die on, bb needs some love, frosta's powers react to emotion, if i have to populate that tag by myself then on god i will
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroCrafter/pseuds/HeroCrafter
Summary: Frosta was given a task: create an audio journal that lists one thing that upset her, her reaction to that, and then five things that made her happy that day. Sounds simple, right?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	What's Going On?

Everything was so confusing. The war was over- finally, _finally_ the war was over. The Horde soldiers left on Etheria were either brought into some form of community service, or if they were kids and raised as child soldiers ~~_like her_~~ their files were found (thank the stars for the Horde’s extensive filing systems) and they were reunited with any family they had left. If there wasn’t any family for them to be returned to, which was common ~~_too common, far far too common_~~ they would be put into a community village of sorts, known simply as Home Village. It was run and managed by the rebels who had defected from the Horde before Horde Prime took over, and people from every kingdom came to volunteer. Those whose homes were destroyed in the war found a place in Home Village too, and one could often find those children being adopted by them. _(That was a good thing, she thought. So why was there this burning in her heart when she saw_ ~~ _Horde_~~ _kids with their families?)_

 _(sometimes it appeared when she saw Glimmer, too. Glimmer understood what it was like, losing a family to the Horde. First Micah, and then Angella. but then she got Micah back, he came back from Beast Island, and then when the war ended Entrapta recreated the unstable portal system and Glimmer got Angella back, too, and Frosta was still an orphan she would_ **_never_ ** _get her mom and dad back they were_ **_dead_ ** _and it’s just_ **_not FAIR!_** _)_

Frosta paused for a moment, then sighed and fell back onto the bed, thankful the air was dry enough that all her emotions had done was lower the room temperature a few degrees. 

“Perfuma said this was supposed to be like I’m just talking, not like I’m reading off a formal proposal to some dignitary. Y’know, if formal proposals were about the inner machinations of my mind. It’s supposed to just be me talking into the recorder- not writing anything down ‘because you tend to talk with your hands, and it’s much easier to form a stream of consciousness when you’re speaking as opposed to when you’re writing.’ Stream of consciousness is that thing where you just say exactly what you’re thinking, so I guess this doesn’t really have to make sense.” Frosta cocked her head to the side, thinking for a second.

“Plus, writing stuff for homework sucks. Just talking _is_ better. And she said I don’t have to go into detail if I don’t really want to. So, just. Talk about something that made me upset today, and then how I reacted to that? And then five things that made me happy. Here’s take two, I guess.

“I got upset earlier today, at around eleven I think. I saw some younger kids originally from the Horde with their parents. I was- jealous. I was jealous, because they’re from the Horde and they get to have family even when they _took_ my family from me. And I know, I _know_ they’re just kids even younger than me, there’s no _way_ they were involved in any of that and it’s not fair for me to be mad at them or jealous of them just because they have something I don’t, but. I guess it’s not fair that the Horde took my parents either. It’s just… two unfair things that don’t make the other fair at all. It’s… it’s what war is, I guess…” Frosta turned on her side and curled in on herself, trying to speak past the tightening knot in her throat, trying to ignore the burning in her eyes _(i_ _n her heart, because she felt so so_ **_guilty_ ** _for being jealous and mad at these kids just as much victims of war as her but she was_ **_still_ ** _jealous and mad and upset no matter how guilty she felt. the room temperature lowered even further.)_

“And I get upset every time I see Glimmer with Micah and Queen Angella, too, and that’s not fair of me either. I should be happy for her, shouldn’t I? She got her family back, and that’s a good thing, right? It’s not fair that I lost my parents, but it’s not fair of me to be upset that Glimmer got hers back, is it.” _(it wasn’t a question she really wanted an answer to.)_

“When I get upset like that, I just sort of… shove it down and try to walk away. It’s not like I’m just gonna magically stop being upset, so I figure that’s the best way to react to it… Right?” Frosta’s face twisted as she tried not to cry, tried like she’d been trying the past she didn’t even _know_ how long she’d been holding back tears. It didn’t work, and once it started she couldn’t stop, not even to pause the recorder. Her body _(her body that was small so small much smaller than it should be too small hadn’t grown an inch since she was put on the throne-)_ shook with the sobs she tried to silence, tried like she tried not to cry. When that didn’t work, she buried herself in her pillows, trying to at least muffle them as she hoped the next room over was empty.

By the time the tears petered out, Frosta’s face was red and streaked, her throat was raw from her cries, and the room was covered in a thick layer of frost. She laid there, buried in bed but knowing she had to finish the recording. Perfuma said she was going to listen to it tomorrow so they could talk about it together after Frosta “already processed the bad stuff of the day.” Frosta scoffed, thinking in a moment of anger that Perfuma probably didn’t want to deal with a snotty teen with out-of-control powers _and_ emotions. She quickly felt guilty for that thought, however. Perfuma was one of the most understanding and openly kind members of the Alliance, there was no way she would think like that.

“T-there. Something that upset me today. I’m… sorry you’re gonna have to listen to that part. Maybe you’ll skip past it? I just- I really don’t want to talk about that. Let’s- let’s talk about. The five things? The five things that… made me happy today. Uhm. To start, uh. Oh! While we were out in Salineas in the afternoon, Mermista pushed Catra off the boat. It was funny, because she and, uh, Melog were sitting on the prow! When Mermista pushed them, Melog actually jumped back up onto the deck, straight onto Adora, and then when Catra got back up onto the boat she did the same thing! Even Sea Hawk was laughing at it. The laughing was good for us all, I think. Made the tone of the whole thing less… sad? It made me feel better after what happened earlier, in Home Village…” Frosta trailed off. She sat up, and straightened out as she rubbed at the tear streaks left on her face.

“A… a second thing that made me happy actually happened this morning, before Home Village and Salineas. I went to the kitchens to get a quick snack because I woke up and had breakfast early, and Netossa was in there messing with marshmallows? Or, I thought she was. Apparently she made a mini-me out of marshmallows! I mean, yeah, it was because she was making a recreation of that time I punched Catra in the face for Spinnerella, but still! She made a mini-me! And also a mini-Spinnerella, which I thought was cute. I- huh. Y’know, now that I think about it, the next thing I was gonna talk about was about something that happened to Catra too… Is that a bad thing? That I laugh at stuff like that? I mean, I get that she’s on our side now, and she saved Glimmer from Prime up in space, but… she was a bad guy, right? For a really long time… she helped destroy Salineas, and organized that attack on Bright Moon, and she tried to blow up the Hardpack Palace! I- but- Scorpia did those last two things too… but Scorpia learned, right? And she didn’t have a choice in being part of the Horde, the Fright Zone was literally built over her kingdom! She came to Bright Moon to get help to save Entrapta! But… Catra saved Glimmer from Horde Prime, _died_ saving her, even. And even now she’s working to be better. And I guess… I guess Glimmer did some bad things, too. As much as Shadow Weaver was a help at the end of the war, Glimmer _really_ shouldn’t have trusted her. And she used the Heart, which put us _right in the middle_ of Horde Prime’s fleet… plus, the whole “using Adora as bait” thing… urrghhhh,” she groaned, throwing her hand over her eyes.

“People are so complicated. I guess I should know that, being princess of the Kingdom of Snows and all, but it still sucks…” 

“Uhm, for the third thing that made me happy…” Frosta kept going, listing and describing three more things that made her happy that day. She tried not to go _too_ in detail, but she did ramble at times before blushing and having to reel herself back in. 

“...but I guess that was kinda the point of the whole thing, right? To promote that idea? I just, I dunno, seeing the symbol of the old Scorpion Kingdom overlayed with the rest of the kingdoms made me happy. People really recognise what Scorpia’s doing with the Fright Zone now. _Scorpia_ makes me happy, I guess. You all do… and I’m- I’m with you all the time, right? So, wouldn’t it- shouldn’t I be happy all the time? I guess that’s sort of impossible for _anyone_ to be happy _all_ the time, but I mean. The war is over! It’s been over for a few months now. The Fright Zone is being torn down and Scorpion Hill is being rebuilt, we’re cleaning up Salineas, the kids from the Horde are all safe in Home Village and Prime’s old fleet has been ripped apart and put back together ten times over by Entrapta! Everything is- everything is good. So why do I feel worse than I _ever_ did during the war?!” Frosta slammed her open palms against the bed, sending two bursts of ice across the blankets. She sighed before dispersing the ice and laying back against the bed.

“I just… I feel... _bad_. About myself? I don’t even know. It gets worse when I hear my own voice, it sounds like it’s getting deeper? And yeah, I get it, the younger you are the higher your voice is, but this is… a lot. A lot deeper sometimes, and I don’t like it. And I’ve been sweating more too, which makes sense I guess, I’m in Plumeria and Salineas more and they’re both humid and hot but not like _this._ I finally started growing again, so you all can finally stop calling me short, but then all _this_ started happening and I don’t get _why!_ I just… I have no idea what’s happening anymore. The war is _over_ but I’m only _now_ getting nightmares about it! I finally started growing again which stopped when I was _eight,_ which was _five years ago_ and I may have been tall for my age then but I’m not anymore! And yeah I started growing but now all of this is happening too and I just feel _terrible about it!”_ Ice shot across the room, covering every surface and sealing the door shut. Frosta groaned, and curled up in a ball inside the frozen room. 

_(“I just want my mom…”)_

**Author's Note:**

> The recorder clicked off.


End file.
